Hello...and goodbye.

January 4, 2009

Don't contact the police. No, I haven't died, been abducted or fallen off the face of the earth. A number of events have come up that have caused me to take some time off from blogging.

I'll start off by quickly mentioning that I've been sick since Christmas. Back in October I developed what I thought was a UTI which hasn't subsided. No antibiotics will help and none of my doctors can figure out what is wrong. Interstitial Cystits perhaps? I'm scheduled to have a cystoscopy later. On Christmas I started feeling nauseous and fatigued with headaches (no, I'm not pregnant:). I don't know if these two things are related but it's caused me to become very weak and run down putting a nix on my sewing spree....temporarily.


Then sadly, my grandmother passed away early Wednesday morning. She had been in a nursing home for some time and on Tuesday we received a call that she would not make it through the night. My sister and I drove up to Wilkesbarre to see her and say goodbye.

Here she is above with my sister and dad. To the right she is pictured with my uncle and father (middle). I think she was quite beautiful as a young mother.

I had never been to see her in the nursing home before Tuesday. When we sat down next to her bed my father handed me some pictures she kept in a frame on her dresser. They were of my daughters, myself and sister, happy, smiling. It was then that I felt my heart break for the fact that I hadn't come until now, until her passing. She was heavily sedated and in a great deal of pain. It was very questionable as to whether she was aware of our presence. In those few moments I wanted the chance to be alone with her to remind her of all the memories she had made in my life and let her know that she had been loved by me. But I didn't have the courage. I hope that in death she can know that although I am not a person comfortable with exposing emotions, I loved her dearly.

During the funeral service my uncle joked that my grandfather was probably celebrating one crazy New Year's party and told her to come on up. I thought that was funny and sad and sweet. I think she would have agreed.

70 {comments}:

zana said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen...Your grandmother was beautiful...so classic. Keeping you in my thoughts -
I hope that you will be diagnosed quickly...it's so hard when mommy is not feeling good! We have missed you around here~
Zana

Alicia said... Best Blogger Tips

Such a beautiful woman. I'm sorry for your loss.

Rachel said... Best Blogger Tips

Ohhh, I'm so sad for you!! What a hard thing to go through at this time of year! I hope you find out what is going on with you and you're in my thoughts!

jan said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry, and I think she knew how you felt. Grandmothers always do.

Jodie said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you will find comfort in your memories of her and your time together. She was very beautiful.

Good luck with your medical tests - I hope you are feeling better very soon.

Mysticnocturne said... Best Blogger Tips

Get better! Take care!

bombaygirl said... Best Blogger Tips

Oh I am so sorry to hear this...she was beautiful, and your dad looks so much like her. Take care of yourself.

Ylana said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen i am so sorry to hear of you loss. I am sure your grandmother could hear everything you were saying to her and knows exactly how much you love her.

I see a big resemblance between your Grandmother and your sister too. Both extremely beautiful women.

I hope that the doctors are able to sort your issues out soon. I bet you cant wait to get back to your sewing. Get well soon xox

Julie said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry for your loss. Both my husband and I each lost a grandmother in the fall. I, too, didn't see my grandma enough, and I regret it now.

As for your illness, I do hope that you are on the road to recovery and that you will be feeling better than ever VERY soon.

Thanks for the update!

Kari said... Best Blogger Tips

I had a similar experience, in cleaning out my grandmas room I found that she had saved every letter, card and picture I had ever sent her. I brought them home with me and they remind me that even the smallest things can make a big difference to someone. Take care.

Tammy (Mom to this crazy bunch) said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Mine passed away last year under very similar circumstances. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Naomi said... Best Blogger Tips

Sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. I lost my grandma a few years ago and I still miss her.

I hope you are feeling better soon, too. And that you get some answers about what's been ailing you.

Nanna said... Best Blogger Tips

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't be so hard on yourself! Your grandmother knows you learned from her and is watching over you. She was lovely.
I hope your health improves!

green girl said... Best Blogger Tips

I hope everything with your illness gets figured out soon and that you feel better. And I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is comforting to know she'll be with her husband now, though, isn't it?

Jewels of My Heart said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love... I hope you are healthy and well very soon.
God's peace and healing,
Daleea

Myshell said... Best Blogger Tips

As someone who has spent the past week in a hospital holding my Grandfather's hand, hoping to get him home, my thoughts are with you. It is never easy to lose someone you love and equally hard when you know how much pain they are in and sometimes death seems the only release. And when they voice this, it only breaks your heart more.

I am positive your grandmother knows how much you love her. Hold your girls close and be strong.
Take care, Myshell

Nikki said... Best Blogger Tips

Lot of good wishes. I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you start feeling better.

Nuts To You! said... Best Blogger Tips

I am sorry for your loss and hope that you will be able to rejoice in her memory.

I was recently checking into interstitial cystitis because I was having similar symptoms, and there is a lot of information at this website if you are interested in natural healing. It talks about healing your body instead of just treating it with medication for the rest of your life. www.welltellme.com In the search box just type interstitial cystitis and the thread will come up. Hope this helps.

giddygoat said... Best Blogger Tips

Sounds like a trying month for you. Take care of yourself!

Sharlene said... Best Blogger Tips

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is always hard to lose a member of the family even if they lead a nice long life. I have Interstitial Cystitis so if you ever want someone to talk to about it, I would happy to share my experience. I am really hoping that isn't what you have because there is no end in sight. Its a hard one to live with. Your headaches, fatigue, and nausea could certainly be related. I hope all goes well with the cystoscopy. We need you back and sewing so we can ooh and ahh over your fabulous creations.

Whimsical Creations said... Best Blogger Tips

What a beautiful family! So sad for you.

Hope your find out what is wrong with you soon so you can start feeling better.

Cami said... Best Blogger Tips

My heart goes out to you. Grandmothers have such special places in our lives. Good luck with the medical testing.

a said... Best Blogger Tips

so sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. she was indeed beautiful and radiant. you are one of the most talented seamstresses out there, so I hope you get better and quick! (i have a little boy, but i love browsing your little girl outfits just for fun) :)

LuLu said... Best Blogger Tips

Sorry for your loss. Hoping you feel like your self soon. Be well.
LuLu

Kelly said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing.

I had a similar health situation and thought I had IC...it turned out to be a severe yeast infection. They can cause UTI symptoms sometimes. Anyway, thought I'd pass that along in case it helps you.

Tiff said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry you have had a rough Holiday Season. I hope you are feeling better. I will be praying for you and your family!

dottyspots said... Best Blogger Tips

I hope you feel better soon.

I lost my grandmother at the end of November, having just stayed at her house (it came as a huge shock).

I'm sure there would be no question of your love for her :0)

Patsy said... Best Blogger Tips

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Loss is such a terrible thing to deal with, but I like the idea of the New Year's Eve party. She was a beautiful woman. I hope they find out what is going on with you soon. Take care.

Kellie H said... Best Blogger Tips

so sorry! I hope your family gets through it alright, you have many memories!
....for you I hope for a quick diagnosis & treamtent. Rest up!!!! & enjoy your girls

Cheilita said... Best Blogger Tips

so sorry deary. for your illness and for your grandmother. I'm so glad you posted that sassy photo of her. She does look lovely.

mama bear said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry for your loss, especially during the holidays. I hope your doctors will be able to find what is making you so sick and get you back on the road to recovery.

linnea said... Best Blogger Tips

Sorry about your grandmother :o(
I hope you feel better soon, too.
Hugs!
xox,
Linnea

nanja said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry for your loss. You can take solace in the fact your grandparents are now together again.

Good luck with your test and hope you get back on your feet soon.

Scrappinfor3 said... Best Blogger Tips

She knew you were there. And she might have even waited for you to arrive. Thinking of you & wishing you wellness.

Jenny said... Best Blogger Tips

I hope you feel better soon and say I'm sorry for your loss. Wishing you and your family the best.

JennyC.No3 said... Best Blogger Tips

Feel better and hopefully the Dr's can quickly come to a diagnosis for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother as well. Best of luck and God bless.

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm sorry for your loss...I lost my "Granny" 3 1/2 years ago and it still hurts at odd moments...God bless you.
Forgive the length of what follows - if it helps at all it might be worth it. I once had what the docs thought were recurring UTI's - for about 6 months I took antibiotic after antibiotic and still the symptoms and the bacteria. Even had cystoscopy with no diagnosis ...finally it just quit. I later had a laparoscopy to correct some abdominal adhesions, and the doc said it looked like my appendix had been infected at some point and eventually just shriveled up! This fit with the earlier symptoms and also caused the lovely adhesions. Because I kept taking antibiotics, the infection was kept at bay instead of letting the app. become truly dangerous. Maybe ask your doc to consider your appendix, if you've still got one?
Hope you're much better soon.

Little Knitter Gem said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother was beautiful! And I'm sure she always knew how much you thought of her.

Fingers crossed they find out what is going on with you soon. The wondering and waiting is often worse than the symptoms. Keep smiling! :)

Gemma
x x

Wendy said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother - I'm sure she knew how you feel about her.

I hope that you feel better and get the help that you need soon. Take care of yourself.

Vicki said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm sorry to read about your grandmother. It's a tough thing to lose a loved one.
I had similar illness symptoms last year and it turned out to be mono. :( No fun to be so exhausted. I hope you feel much better quickly

Rebecca Ramsey said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen, I'm so sorry. She was gorgeous, like you!
I hope you feel better soon!
Becky

Ryan & Cynthia Clan said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry for your loss. It looks like you have wonderful family to help you in this tough time. We just lost my father-in-law a month ago and know how important it is to have family nearby to carry us through.

Mattam said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry to hear about your grandma! You're in our thoughts and prayers!

MOMFOREVERANDEVER said... Best Blogger Tips

I bet she knew in her heart how much you loved her. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

romanemone said... Best Blogger Tips

oh, I'm so sorry for you...

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen, I am so sorry for your loss and your health issues. You are in my thoughts.
Pascale

Krishna said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry for your loss. My granda, Mamaw, passed away in 2007 on my grandfather's birthday (he died in 2003). She was ill that day and in the last couple hours just kinda slipped away but kept hanging on until about 10 PM when my dad said for her to go be with her husband on his birthday and she was gone within 2 minutes. I believe she was ready to be with her true love.

Monique said... Best Blogger Tips

My sincerest sympathies, I know how you feel, I lost my father in law who was more of a father to me than I ever had and he passed away on the 22nd just before Christmas but we had his funeral yesterday. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Artfulife said... Best Blogger Tips

Sorry it has taken me so long to leave a comment, I read this post the other day. I hope that you are feeling better soon and that you and your family feel comforted in your time of loss. You will be in our prayers.

Rosie and Derek said... Best Blogger Tips

So sorry about your grandmother, I hope you're feeling better soon!

I have a question about an order I placed in your Grosgrain shop. I ordered a skirt a month ago and haven't received it and haven't had an answer back when I emailed your shop. Could you give me any help with this? Thanks a bunch!

KV Creative Designs said... Best Blogger Tips

I am sorry for your loss. She is indeed Beautiful! I know how hard it is to loss a grandmother, as I lost mine in 2007. I didn't even get to say goodbye and had not seen her for 2 years, because she lived in another state. I hope you are taking the time you need to get well and heal.

Artful Blessings,
Kathryn

Warm Bunny said... Best Blogger Tips

My sympathies are with you. Having given care to hospice patients for many years I can asssure you your grandmother knows exactly how you feel. Sharing your feelings here is an awfully big step, which is a *positive* in your favor. In her passing perhaps she is still helping you by her being a conduit for you to learn the lesson of expression. I hope you recover from your health issues soon. You are an amazing talent.
- Susan

babylamms said... Best Blogger Tips

I just want you to know that I love reading your blog. You have such a kind heart and an enormous talent.

I too have had grandparents in nursing homes who were not visited nearly enough. It's hard to deal with that guilt. Hopefully you will be feeling better soon, mentally and physicallly.

Thank you for all that you do. :)

Mathgeek said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry you are havign a rough start to the new year. Your grandmother was beautiful, I love the way women looked back then, so elegant. Sorry to hear of the loss. Hope things get better for you in time!

My3Monkeys said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you get to feeling better, too!

Kate said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry for your loss and I am sending warmest wishes to you with the hope you will be feeling better soon!

Wendy said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry about all that is going on with you. I totally know what it is like to be out of sorts in more ways than one. I am praying that God will give you an extra amount of love and hugs in the New Year.
Big Hugs,
Wendy

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

I am so sorry that your not feeling well. I hope there is a diagnosis very soon, just knowing what the problem is will give you a better perspective and then you can get to work on the issue and get better soon!

Just got back from taking my hubby to the airport...he is on his way to visit his Mom. She is living in an assisted living complex.
(He just called, flight delay, but has worked out other connecting flights),anyway....it is difficult to spend time with Mom since she is on the East coast and we are in
the Midwest, but the plan for this year is for hubby to visit every four months. We are so glad to have a plan...in the past the trip would get deferred for some reason or other.
Feel better soon, take good care of your self...we will all watch for your return to the blog.
Blessings

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen, it's your cousin Christina. I was touched by your comments about our grandmother dying. I felt like it was something I wrote because I feel the same way. I am struck by the sadness of that but comforted that I am not alone. I, too loved her dearly and still haven't quite recovered from her death. I, too hope she is looking down from heaven and knows how I feel. Thanks for such a great site. Hey, I hope you are feeling better soon and most importantly get a diagnosis.

Ms. Ellaneous said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen-I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a hard time expressing how much people mean to me too. I usually resort to making people things, it's easier than words. Thanks for being so honest about your feelings and what's going on with you. I hope you feel better soon and that you find some explanation for what's going on. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery!- Amy

Jen said... Best Blogger Tips

Kathleen-

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My last grandparent is turning 101 this year and even though she has lived such a long life it will still leave a hole when she is gone.

Megan said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take care. We'll all be here looking forward to seeing your beautiful creations again, but take as much time as you need to get better.

Heather and Billy said... Best Blogger Tips

Just wanted to send my condolences. I love reading your blog and just staring at everything on it. Just looking leaves me uplifted and inspired. Thanks!!!

Kristal and Jason said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you get feeling better soon! It's no fun to be sick, esp. with a child.

Adrienne said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so sorry about your loss, your blog is such an inspiration for me! You are such an amazing person and always have inspiring words to offer. I hate to suggest this, but since I've recently been through it myself I thought if you haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, it is worth a suggestion to your doctor. The symptoms you are experiencing are very similar to Type 1 Diabetes. My 4 year old was diagnosed December 5th and initially they were saying it was UTI too because they are very similar in nature. All it takes is a simple blood glucose test to rule out, or diagnose and could prevent a lengthy hospital stay. God bless you and good luck with your health! You are in my prayers!

Pixeltrash said... Best Blogger Tips

Sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. I hope you are all feeling better about it soon.

Mary said... Best Blogger Tips

My deepest symphathies in the loss of your Grandmother. She was a gorgeous woman...that much is obvious! Hope she enjoyed the party with her dear sweet hubby!:-)
Best of luck re: your medical tests. I will keep you in my prayers.

DillChips said... Best Blogger Tips

My Grandmother and then my Mother passed away a few months ago. I hope that you are able to read this last comment and know that I understand deeply. I also hope that you can feel better too.

Gloria said... Best Blogger Tips

The symptoms you decribe can co-exsist with interstitial cystitis. I have had IC for 26 years and if you need support or help managing the disease feel free to call me. My name is gloria prater-pescuma I live in boston and I have a facebook and blogspt which is
http://icanonymous.blogspot.com

978-346-9725

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you'll get better soon! all the best and lots of love astrid

 
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